Appreciating the Husband

All praise be to Allah, who says: And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. We bear witness that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah, the Most Gracious and Most Merciful, and we bear witness that our master and Prophet, Sayyiduna Muhammad is His servant and messenger. May Allah’s peace, blessings, and mercy be upon him, his family, his companions, and those who follow his guidance. To Continue: I advise you and myself to have taqwa of Allah, as He says: يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul, and from it He created its mate, and from them both He spread many men and women. [Qur'an: 4:1] O Worshipers of Allah! One day, eleven women sat together, each describing her relationship with her husband. Among them was a wise and intelligent woman who appreciated her husband. She spoke of his noble character, generosity, and kindness towards her. She described how he provided for her, supported her, and treated her with love and respect, making her feel cherished. That woman was Umm Zar’, whose story was narrated by our mother Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). After hearing the story of Umm Zar’ and her husband Abu Zar’, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Aisha: كُنْتُ لَكِ كَأَبِي زَرْعٍ لِأُمِّ زَرْعٍ I am to you like Abu Zar’ was to Umm Zar’. [Bukhari & Muslim] Aisha replied, acknowledging his kindness and virtue: ‌بِأَبِي ‌وَأُمِّي يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، بَلْ أَنْتَ ‌خَيْرٌ ‌لِي ‌مِنْ ‌أَبِي ‌زَرْعٍ By my father and mother, O Messenger of Allah! Rather, you are better to me than Abu Zar’ was to Umm Zar’. [Mu’jam al-Kabir] Yes, appreciating one's husband is a noble virtue that righteous and loyal wives possess—those whom Allah describes as: فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ So righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard.  [Qur'an: 4:34] A righteous wife appreciates her husband and acknowledges his efforts, whether she is employed or a homemaker. She understands that her husband is the backbone of the family, is its protector, and provider. She realizes that recognizing his efforts is one of his most important moral rights. How can she not, when he toils tirelessly to provide for his family and ensure their happiness? O servants of Allah, appreciating one's husband is a refined cultural value upon which strong homes and families are built. Every mother should instil this value in her children by demonstrating appreciation for her husband, serving as a role model through both her words and actions. This will embed appreciation into the broader society. One of the ways a wife can express her appreciation is through gratitude, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: لَا يَشْكُرُ اللَّهَ ‌مَنْ ‌لَا ‌يَشْكُرُ ‌النَّاسَ Whoever does not thank people has not thanked Allah. [Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi] It is more deserving for a wife to thank her husband and praise him in front of his family and hers. For the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) warned: لَا يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ إِلَى امْرَأَةٍ لَا تَشْكُرُ لِزَوْجِهَا Allah does not look kindly upon a woman who does not appreciate her husband. [Mustadrak al-Sahihayn] A wife should not let shyness prevent her from expressing gratitude to her husband in kind words that he cherishes. She should also support his decisions, respect his views, and avoid belittling or constantly criticizing him. She should refrain from exploiting his weaknesses, arguing excessively, or exposing his faults, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: إِذَا ‌خَاصَمَ ‌فَجَرَ When they argue, they transgress. [Bukhari & Muslim] Instead, she should be the first to reconcile, preserving harmony in her home and earning the glad tidings of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), who said: خَيْرُ نِسَائِكُمْ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ: الْوَدُودُ الْوَلُودُ الْعَؤُودُ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا، الَّتِي إِذَا آذَتْ ‌أَوْ ‌أُوذِيَتْ، أَتَتْ زَوْجَهَا، حَتَّى تَضَعَ يَدَهَا فِي كَفِّهِ فَتَقُولَ: لَا أَذُوقُ غَمْضًا ‌حَتَّى ‌تَرْضَى The best of your women in Paradise are those who are loving, childbearing, and devoted to their husbands. Those who when they upset their husbands or are upset themselves, they come and place their hands in their husbands' and say, ‘I will not rest until you are pleased with me’. [Sunan al-Kubra li Nasai] How profound is the impact of appreciating one’s husband, O servants of Allah! When it comes from a wise and understanding wife, it fosters mutual respect, strengthens the marital bond, and brings tranquillity to the household. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) warned against constant complaints, as seen in the story of one of the Prophet Ismail’s wives, who frequently complained about her husband’s situation, leading to an undesirable outcome for her. So, a wise wife does not burden her husband with unrealistic financial expectations or compare him with others. She does not pressure him into unnecessary debts, recognizing that no one is perfect, and that true gratitude is in appreciating what one has rather than envying others. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: انْظُرُوا إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ أَسْفَلَ مِنْكُمْ، وَلَا تَنْظُرُوا إِلَى مَنْ هُوَ فَوْقَكُمْ؛ فَإِنَّهُ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ لَا ‌تَزْدَرُوا ‌نِعْمَةَ ‌اللَّهِ تَعَالَى عَلَيْكُمْ Look at those who are below you, not those above you, for it is more appropriate that you do not belittle Allah’s blessings upon you. [Sahih Muslim] O Allah, fill our homes with happiness, increase the goodness and unity in our society, and grant us success in obeying You and those whom You have commanded us to obey. I say these words and ask Allah for forgiveness for myself and for you, so seek His forgiveness. Second Sermon: All praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our noble Prophet Muhammad, his family, and companions. O Worshipers of Allah! A wife's appreciation for her husband often stems from his appreciation for her. Appreciation is a mutual duty, an innate human impulse, and a personal desire that manifests in every human relationship. In the marital relationship, it is even more essential and has a deeper impact—it is the cornerstone of a family’s success and happiness, its continuity and stability, and it serves as a remedy for the heart. It comforts the husband’s heart and reinforces the stability of the family. How much would both spouses benefit from dedicating time to open dialogue—exchanging words of affection and appreciation, even if only for an hour each day. Such moments help them face daily challenges and distractions and ease the pressures of life that can drain emotions and cloud the mind. Consider, for a moment, that beautiful prophetic dialogue which exemplifies the finest method of communication between spouses. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to his wife Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her): إِنِّي لَأَعْلَمُ إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى “I know when you are pleased with me, and when you are angry with me.” She asked, وَمِنْ أَيْنَ تَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ؟ “And how do you know that?” He replied: أَمَّا إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، فَإِنَّكِ تَقُولِينَ: لَا. ‌وَرَبِّ ‌مُحَمَّدٍ! وَإِذَا كُنْتِ غَضْبَى، قُلْتِ: لَا، وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ “When you are pleased, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad!’ And when you are angry, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim!’” She responded: أَجَلْ وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ! مَا أَهْجُرُ إِلَّا اسْمَكَ Indeed, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah, I will never forsake from mentioning your name. [Bukhari and Muslim] How beautiful is this example of mutual appreciation between spouses, and how essential is open dialogue between them. Every couple should make such appreciation a way of life—renewing the warmth of their family, solidifying the emotional stability of their children, and deepening the bonds of love and intimacy between them. When a man finds joy in his home, he becomes more creative and diligent in his work and excels in his relationships, thereby benefiting his family, society, and nation. I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan, let us reflect on the following verse, in the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate: وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. Surely in this are signs for those who reflect. [Bukhari and Muslim] May Allah join our heart and make he make our homes a place of lover and mercy, may he make our relationships in marriage a sign for those who reflect that draws them closer to their Lord. This is our prayer. O Allah send Your blessings, peace, and Your choicest mercy upon our master and Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family, his companions, and those who follow them. May Allah be pleased with Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Ali, and with all the noble companions. O Allah, make us steadfast believers in You, devoted worshippers of You, turners in repentance to You, and dutiful to our parents. Have mercy on them as they nurtured us in our youth, O Most Merciful of the merciful. O Allah, make appreciation a culture in our families, and let dialogue be the support of our homes. Fill our community with unity and affection. O Allah, bestow lasting stability, progress, and prosperity upon the Emirate state. Grant us continued well-being, and bless our provisions, our spouses, and our offspring. O Allah, grant success to the President of the state, Sheikh Muhammad bin Zayed, as well as his deputies, his brothers—the rulers of the Emirates—and his trusted heir, for that which pleases You and is pleasing to You. O Allah, have mercy on Sheikh Zayed, Sheikh Rashid, and the founding leader; admit them by Your grace into the vast expanses of Your Gardens, and envelop the martyrs of our homeland in Your mercy and forgiveness. O Allah, have mercy on all Muslim men and women, on all the believing men and women—both the living and the deceased. O Allah, send down rain upon us and do not let us be among those who despair. O Allah, help us with Your aid —O Allah, help us—O Allah, help us. “Our Lord, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the Fire.” O Servants of Allah: remember Allah, the Great and Majestic, so that He may remember you, and thank Him for His blessings so that He may increase them for you. And establish the prayer.