Loyalty to the Wife

First Khutba Praise be to Allah in gratitude and appreciation, and thanks be to Him in loyalty and recognition. Glory be to Him, as He says: ﴿جَعَلَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ ‌أَزْوَاجًا﴾.  “And Allah has made for you mates from among yourselves.” I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah, acknowledging His Oneness and affirming it. And I bear witness that our Master and Prophet, Muhammad, is the Messenger of Allah, the most loyal of all people. May Allah's peace, blessings, and mercy be upon him, his family, his companions, and those who follow them in goodness until the Day of Judgment. To proceed: I advise you, servants of Allah, and myself, to have taqwa of Allah in both ease and hardship, and to embody the noble trait of loyalty. Allah, the Exalted, says: ﴿وَالْمُوفُونَ بِعَهْدِهِمْ إِذَا عَاهَدُوا وَالصَّابِرِينَ فِي الْبَأْسَاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَحِينَ الْبَأْسِ أُولَئِكَ الَّذِينَ صَدَقُوا وَأُولَئِكَ هُمُ الْمُتَّقُونَ﴾. “And they who fulfil their promise when they promise, and the patient in poverty and hardship and during battle those are the who have been true, and it is they who are the righteous.”. O Believers: My speech to you in today’s khutba is about the wife, the mother of children, the builder of generations, and the pillar of the home. She is the precious jewel whom Allah Almighty has made a repository of tranquillity, a source of mercy and peace. Allah, the Exalted, says: ﴿وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً﴾. “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.”. Thus, it is incumbent upon every husband to be devoted to his wife, faithful in his dealings with her, generous and not stingy with his wealth and emotions toward her. He must honour the firm covenant and the solemn pact that exists between him and her. Allah, the Exalted, says:  ﴿وَأَخَذْنَ مِنْكُمْ مِيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا﴾  “And they have taken from you a solemn covenant.”. Loyalty to one’s wife is a noble virtue and a duty upon every religious person. It is a quality found in those of honour and manliness, and it is a hallmark of individuals of virtue and dignity. Our Prophet ﷺ was the finest example of loyalty to his wives. He recognized their merit, praised their good deeds, appreciated their contributions, overlooked their mistakes, and said: «لَا ‌يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً، إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ». “A believing man should not hate a believing woman - meaning a husband should not hate his wife, if he dislikes one characteristic in her he will be pleased with another” . And He ﷺ cared deeply for his wives' feelings and openly expressed his love for them, he was once asked: Who is the most beloved person to you? He replied: ‘Aisha.”. سُئِلَ ﷺ يَوْمًا: ‌مَنْ ‌أَحَبُّ ‌النَّاسِ ‌إِلَيْكَ؟ قَالَ: «عَائِشَةُ»  How fitting it is for you, O husband, to follow the example of your Prophet ﷺ in his loyalty to his wives. Strive in all that brings happiness to your wife’s heart, opens her chest with joy, and fills her soul with delight, whether it be through kind words, meaningful gifts, or noble actions. This is part of living together in kindness, as Allah the Almighty has commanded: ﴿وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾  “And live with them in kindness.” .  How can you, dear husband, allow yourself to oppress your wife, mock her, burden her, or abandon her without respecting her feelings and emotions, or without considering her rights? Do you not know that the Prophet ﷺ once stopped during a journey, halting everyone, to search for a precious necklace belonging to his wife? (Agreed upon). Have you not reflected on how the Prophet once sat by his camel, kneeling down to offer his knee so that his wife could place her foot on it to mount the camel? (Bukhari). So, what do you think, O servants of Allah, of one who does not give his wife any attention, nor respects her honour, while she is the one who left her parents' home to live with him according to the Book of her Lord and the Sunnah of her Prophet? And Allah has made her a fortress for his protection. Yet, he breaks her heart and angers his Lord and her Lord by betraying her with a woman who is not lawful for him. Let him fear his Lord and remember His saying:  ﴿وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا﴾  'And do not approach adultery; indeed, it is an immorality and an evil way.' O faithful husbands: The loyalty of a husband to his wife means that he stands by her in her time of hardship and cares for her when she is ill. How much she has endured of hardships during her pregnancy and childbirth, and how many nights she stayed awake for the sake of her children and husband. Yet, some husbands neglect their wives when they fall ill or abandon them when they grow old. Sometimes, they might even divorce them when they are in most need of their husbands. So where is the loyalty that distinguishes noble people? look at Uthman (may Allah be pleased with him), when wife fell ill, he stayed with her, nursing and caring for her (Tirmidhi). The Prophet ﷺ encouraged him to remain with her, attend to her needs, and promised him a great reward for doing so (Bukhari). And among the forms of a husband's loyalty to his wife, when he is married to more than one, whether two, three, or four, is to be just and fair between his wives. He should not incline completely toward one without the others. Allah, the Almighty, says:       ﴿‌فَلَا ‌تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا ‌كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ﴾. 'And do not incline to one [wife] leaving the other in suspense.'  This is not justice between them, but rather oppression, which Allah has forbidden, and the Prophet warned who do this:   «من كان له زوجتان فمال إلى إحداهما جاء يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ وشقه مائل».  'On the Day of Judgment, one of his sides will be tilted (corrupted).' . O Allah, help us to be loyal to our wives, in obedience to You, Your Messenger, and those whom You have commanded us to obey in Your saying: ﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنْكُمْ﴾ I say this and ask Allah for forgiveness for me and for you.   The Second Khutba Praise be to Allah as befits His Majesty and Great Power, praise that has no end to its number and no end to its duration, and peace and blessings be upon our Master and Prophet Muhammad, the Seal of His Messengers, and upon his family and companions and those who follow his guidance. O faithful husbands: Among the forms and meanings of a man's loyalty to his wife is that he remains loyal to her even if Allah has decreed divorce between them. He should not speak of her except with good, and she does not receive from him anything but goodness, in accordance with the saying of Allah, the Almighty:         ﴿‌وَلَا ‌تَنْسَوُا الْفَضْلَ بَيْنَكُمْ﴾  'And do not forget the favor between you.' .  So what is it with some husbands who hasten to speak ill of their wives after their divorce, deny them access to their children, and do everything that may harm them, disregarding the saying of their Lord, the Almighty:   ﴿أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ﴾  'Or release them with kindness.' . Loyalty to the wife continues even after her death. A loyal husband, when his wife passes away, continues to pray for her and expresses his feelings towards her. Indeed, when Khadijah was mentioned after her death, the Prophet ﷺ said: 'I was granted her love.'    إني قد رزقت حبها . He ﷺ would mention her virtues, saying: «قَدْ ‌آمَنَتْ ‌بِي إِذْ كَفَرَ بِي النَّاسُ، ‌وَصَدَّقَتْنِي إِذْ كَذَّبَنِي النَّاسُ، وَوَاسَتْنِي بِمَالِهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي النَّاسُ، وَرَزَقَنِي اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَلَدَهَا إِذْ حَرَمَنِي أَوْلَادَ النِّسَاءِ» 'She believed in me when people rejected me, she trusted me when people called me a liar, she supported me with her wealth when people deprived me, and Allah, the Almighty, blessed me with children from her when He deprived me of the children of other women.' . As He ﷺused to honor her female friends, and whenever He slaughtered a sheep, he would send them gifts from it.(Bukhari). Heﷺ used to say:       إن حسن العهد من الإيمان 'Indeed, fulfilling one's covenant is part of faith' .  Let us follow the guidance of our Prophet, the Seal of the Prophets, and take inspiration from our faithful fathers, grandfathers, and leaders, so that we may be loyal to our wives, and they may be our companions in Paradise, fulfilling the words of our Lord: ﴿جَنَّاتُ عَدْنٍ يَدْخُلُونَهَا وَمَنْ صَلَحَ مِنْ آبَائِهِمْ وَأَزْوَاجِهِمْ وَذُرِّيَّاتِهِمْ﴾  'Gardens of Eden, which they shall enter, and such as were righteous among their fathers, their spouses, and their descendants' O Allah, send blessings, peace, and mercy upon our master Muhammad, his family, companions, and followers. O Allah, be pleased with Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, and Ali, and with all the noble companions. O Allah, make us believers in You, worshippers for You, repentant to You, fulfilling our covenants, dutiful to our parents, and have mercy on them as they raised us when we were young, O Most Merciful of the merciful.  O Allah, sustain the stability, progress, and prosperity of the state of the Emirates, and grant us well-being. Bless us with good health, and bless our provisions, our wives, and our children. O Allah, grant success to the President of the State, Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed, his deputies, his brothers, the rulers of the Emirates, and his loyal Crown Prince, to all that You love and are pleased with. O Allah, have mercy on Sheikh Zayed, Sheikh Rashid, and the founding leaders, and by Your grace admit them into Your vast gardens. Encompass the martyrs of the nation with Your mercy and forgiveness. O Allah, have mercy on the Muslim men and women, the believing men and women, the living among them and the deceased. O Allah, grant us rain and do not make us among the despondent. O Allah, send us rain, … . ﴿‌رَبَّنَا ‌آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ﴾ Servants of Allah, remember Allah, the Great and Glorious, and He will remember you. Be grateful to Him for His blessings, and He will increase you.